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There are frequently warning signs
that domestic violence is happening in a relationship. If you have observed any
of the following things in a relationship, domestic violence could be happening
and you might be able to take action to help. (We use the word
"partner" generally; it could mean husband-and-wife, people who are
dating, family members, people who live together, same-sex relationships, or
others.)
Warning signs of domestic violence
include:
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One partner
checks up on the other a lot, for example, by listening in on phone calls,
constantly asking about whereabouts, calling a person at work all day,
checking a person's car mileage.
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One partner
puts the other down, for example, by name-calling, constant criticism,
public or private humiliation, or making the other partner feel crazy.
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One partner
tries to control the other, for example, by telling the person not to see
certain friends or family members, keeping the person away from school or
work, making the person stay home when she wants to go out.
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One partner
acts jealous or possessive and says it's a sign of love.
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One partner
destroys or threatens to destroy the other's belongings.
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One partner
threatens to hurt the other, or friends, family members, or pets.
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One partner
touches the other in a way or ways that hurt or scare the other partner.
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One partner
makes the other have sex in ways or at times that are uncomfortable.
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One partner
blames the other one and other people for everything, and gets angry in a
way that scares the other partner or observers.
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One partner
says that the concerns of the other about the relationship are not real or
not important.
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If someone is caught up in
domestic violence, help is available. Listen to other messages on this
Information Line for specific things you can do and for information on community
and other agencies who can help.
Chemical dependency and domestic
violence are two separate problems. Drinking and drug use do not cause
battering. Battering does not cause addiction. Although no causal link between
the two problems can be established, both problems often co-exist within the
framework of an abusive relationship. When this happens, both the severity of
injuries and lethality rates may increase, making safety and sobriety of
paramount concern. If you are in an abusive relationship and concerned about
your own or another person's alcohol or other drug use, you can receive
information and referrals 24 hours a day by calling the Alcohol Drug Help Line.
If you feel you are
in jeopardy of harm or need to get to an emergency shelter contact
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
(TDD Line: 1-800-787-3224)
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